A Life Long Forgotten
by naomi.coigligh
Summary: Thorin finds out things are not always as they seem. Rated T for later chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I own none of the characters/places etc everything is Tolkien's**

 **Chapter 1**

Thorin sighed as he approached the round green door. There was no mark upon it. Three hours now he'd been wandering around the shire looking for the home of Bilbo Baggins but without luck. He thought about knocking and asking for directions but judging by the looks he had received earlier from the few hobbits who had crossed his path the owner of this dwelling was far more likely to slam the door in his face than tell him how to get to bag end. Instead he turned away and stepped back into the lane. As the rain began to fall his mood soured even further. He cursed Gandalf, not for the first time, as he trudged off in search of the home of their burglar.

It was quite a while later that be finally found Bag End. He was cold and tired and wanted nothing better than to have a warm supper and curl up and sleep in a warm bed. He was just raising his hand to ring the doorbell when it struck him. Silence. The house inside was completely silent. He knew the others should be here by now they set out early to ensure they would be there before him. His already foul mood soured even further. The last thing he needed was to have to traipse all over the shire looking for them. He knocked the door slightly harder than he had intended. Promptly the door was opened by a middle aged hobbit with rosy cheeks and brown curly hair. "Good evening master dwarf. Bilbo Baggins at your service. Please do come in out of the rain. Please hang your cloak up over there and leave your weapons with the others. Your companions are already here, they're waiting for you in the dining room." Mr. Baggins pointed in the direction of the dining room and continued down the hall to the pantry.

Thorin stood in the hallway, mouth agape, staring after the hobbit. He had not expected Mr. Baggins to be so calm considering he had a house full of dwarfs. Then again he had expected his companions to be their usual rowdy selves. Once again he pondered the silence that surrounded him. He placed his cloak and weapons where he had been instructed to and walked in the direction of the dining room. Inside the room his companions sat quietly. Thorin couldn't recall the last time he had seen them like this, in fact he wasn't sure he ever had. "What in Mahal's name has you all so quite?" He asked aloud. From a dark corner of the room a voice he had long forgotten answered him. "Ah I think that would be me."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

 **Disclaimer: Everything is Tolkien's I just borrowed them for a while. Flashbacks are in Italics.**

 _"It's been two days Thorin. They have fallen. They are amongst the dead." Thorin couldn't believe it, he wouldn't. He would stay until he found them. If what they said was true then he would at least lay them to rest properly. "I will not leave them here. I will not abandon them when there is still hope Balin." Balin sighed, "What hope is there laddie? Look around you. There is naught but death and destruction here. Your people need you. Dis needs you Thorin. You must tell her." Thorin thought of his sister, of his nephew Fili and the child she still carried. How could he tell her. Tell her that her husband and her grandfather had fallen. That her father and Frerin were missing. No, he could not do that, he would find them if he had to search every body on the battlefield. "Thorin." Dwalin stood looking down at his feet. "It's Frerin. They've found him in the woods near Mirrormere. He has fallen." Thorin heard the scream but did not realise it was he himself that was screaming until he felt Balin's arms around him. "Hush laddie, hush. There is no more you can do here. Come home. Frerin is lost to us."_

Frerin. His brother had fallen, all those long years past. Yet here Thorin was, standing in a cramped dining room in the Shire, staring at a memory. Thorin wanted to scream. He wanted to wake up from whatever cruel dream this was. Constantly he would dream of this only to have Frerin disappear before his eyes at the last moment. Yet his eyes were open already. He was awake. This was real. "You fell. They told me you had fallen." Frerin stepped forward into the light. His blonde hair and beard were streaked with grey now but he still looked very much the same. An older version of Fili but with a scar running down the left side of his face from just below his eye that disappeared below his tunic. "I did not die Thorin. I left. I'm sorry but I had to. I dressed another in my armour and I escaped into the woods. I knew his face was too badly damaged to be recognised."

Thorin didn't know what to say, what to do. All these long years he had mourned his little brother, he had lived with the guilt he felt over not being able to protect him. Countless nights he had cried himself to sleep thinking of all that he had lost and yet here stood his brother, not only alive but telling him he had left willingly. "How could you do that to her?"

 _They were drained both emotionally and physically by the time they reached Erid Luin. Thorin rode at the front of the sombre procession. He heard the horns sound their return and his stomach twisted. How could he tell them of their loss? A shout went up and Thorin looked towards the gates. Dis. Why did he have to do this? Why did he have to be the one to break her? He had gone over his story in his head for days but when he looked at her all the details escaped him. "They have fallen." It was all he could manage but it was all it had taken. Then and there he watched as a light went out in her eyes. No tears. No screaming. She just turned and walked away from him._


End file.
